you want to go to stumbleupon.com some of the pictures are fantastic and well worth seeing
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As I sit in the garden of my cosy bungalow watching the
robins pecking around for food,
I marvel at how lucky I was, and wondered where I would have
been if I had not met Jo.
Jo came from south Africa she was a kind, handsome,
wonderful woman. We had met on the Internet; I was looking for friends, women
who were like me. She had a partner,
Sarah, who sadly was ill and had cancer, not too long to live.
We kept in touch for months and gradually the three of us
became friends, such good friends that I decided to go for a visit and meet my
Internet buddies. Before I could finish
packing I got THE phone call; Sarah had passed that morning. I had such mixed emotions over JO’s loss, on one
hand I felt her pain of losing someone you love, and on the other hand I liked
maybe even loved Jo and wanted to be with her.
I wanted to be there to comfort and support Jo in her time of need. Besides, I had been seriously ill myself and
wanted a change in climate and of course was dying to meet Jo.
She said she would welcome the company but was not sure in
what state I would find her.
I arrived in South Africa, “Wow what a lovely
country”, the pictures from the plane window did not do it justice. I
found Jo at the Johannesburg airport after first going to the wrong meeting
place. She actually found me first and
strolled over to make sure it was me, she’d only seen pictures before now. I fell in love instantly. We could not show any affection towards each
other as it is not allowed in this country.
Once we got in the car it was a different story. We immediately locked lips and tongues in the
most passionate kiss I have ever had. I knew then that this was the woman for
me. I had a fantastic time, Jo showed me the sights including her bed (many,
many times) and we grew to care about each other but only as close
friends. Jo needed time to grieve and I
needed time to think about what I wanted out of life. We visited each other every year and found
ourselves falling in love, this would not be accepted in South Africa and we
had to be careful no one knew. Her trips
to England posed no problems as it is accepted here and we could be married. Jo did not want to leave her home and friends
so I applied for a visa to live there. I
went to my interview appointment in London and thought nothing of telling them
that I wanted to live with my partner, a woman.
I was turned down very quickly. I
was devastated, what will we do now? Jo
to the rescue, she said she would get a visa and come to the UK and live. I was overcome with emotion. I could not believe my dream was coming true,
to live with and eventually marry this wonderful person.
Jo got through her paper work, paid her fees and was granted
a visa to come to England and get married.
She arrived in October and the climate change was a real shock to her
system, so was the culture and the cost of living. We had to get married with 90 days of the
visa date so we decided on November 29th.
The wedding was at the registers with just a small group of family and
friends. Those were the best of times.
We set up house in a new bungalow with two bedrooms and a
great garden. We did all the normal
things that couples do, bought a dog, planted flowers, took the dog for walks
in the park. The same as other lesbian
couples everywhere, we seemed to be the perfect pairing.
Jo was wonderful and never asked too many questions she just
accepted me as I was. It didn’t matter
to her what was in my past, but it did to me.
I lay awake at night agonising over things I had done. I had children when I was but a naive little
child myself. My parents made me marry
the father even though our involvement had nothing to do with love just
experimentation. He resented me for that
and was abusive to me physically and verbally for all of our married life. I tried to leave him even breaking into an
empty house to sleep and being arrested for it.
I even tried to be a stripper, leading to me being raped, so I could
make enough money to take the children and leave him. Alas, my attempts fell short and I would
return to the abuse and my babies. I put
up with him for many years while I worked to better myself. I took care of my children and studied
courses from the local college eventually getting my degree. I worked hard and did almost anything to earn
money, some, which I am ashamed of. I
finally made it and left that bastard, taking the children with me. To this day my past continues to haunt
me. I’m sure Jo would understand if I
tell her, but do I take that chance?
What if I blow the best thing I’ve ever had just to clear my mind? I’ve tossed and turned and sweated enough for
one night. I must quiet my thoughts and
myself before I wake her. She is
sleeping so peacefully and I am in agony.
I will tell her, I have to stop these nightmares or the anxiety will
give me a stroke. Jo awoke about 7 but
I never did, the secrets I tried to conceal from my partner were eventually my
SHE WAS BUT A CHILD
A FINE BONNY GIRL
UNTIL SHE HEARD THESE SAD WORDS
HE HATES HER HE SAID
AS SHE LAY UNDER THE BED
LISTENING TO WORDS THAT HER FATHER SAID
WHEN SHE WAS TEN
SHE PLAYED IN THE STREET
LOOKING FOR LOVE
WITH A HOPEFULL PLEA
FIFTEEN WAS THE DAY
THAT PLAYED ON HER MIND
WHY OH WHY IS
THEN A MAN CAME
BUT DID THE LOVE COME IN WALKING
OH NO HE HATED HER SO
BRUTAL AND WICKED HER LIFE BECAME
DRINKING AND DRUGS
THEY SAID SHE WAS TO BLAME
PRISON OH DEAR
HOW SAD SHE IS NOW
THEN SUDDENLY SHE HEARS
THESE WORDS OH SO SLOW
MY CHILD MY FLOCK
YOULL ALWAYS BE MINE
JUST LISTEN TO ME
AND ALL WILL BE FINE
A LONG TIME HAS GONE BY
IF ONLY ID KNOWN
THAT GOD IS ABOVE
HE NEVER LEFT ME ALONE